Chapter II September 24, 2010

As way of background, for the past six and a half months I have been sick. I was first diagnosed with a recurrence of mono and was told that as an adult it could take a while to get over. With that in mind I kept struggling along thinking tomorrow I would get better. After losing 40 lbs and actually starting to feel some better I went back to the Doctor a couple of weeks ago thinking that I needed a decrease in blood pressure medicine since the weight loss and thinking that things were looking up. However, from our conversation I was sent for a CT scan of the stomach that I really thought was not worth the time. I was feeling better, but on Erika’s urging I went anyways. The Dr. called me to say things weren’t good on the CT scan and sent me back for a chest CT. The report on that one knocked the humor out of me for a few seconds. “It looks like you have lymphoma I am referring you to a cancer Doctor.”

That brings us to today and my first visit to the cancer Doctor. Erika and I are polar opposites in many ways. Erika says, “Doctor we don’t want you to sugar coat anything so give it to us straight.” I’m saying hang on what is this “we” thing. Before you say anything doc, do you have a couple extra bottles of rubbing alcohol I can drink? And how about you sit on this hard table and I sit in that chair with the arms and back on it. By the way do you have and smelling salts nearby?

Well the fellow was of the nice sorts and tells me we are going to take this one step at a time. They drained one arm of its blood to be sent off to some fancy lab. The doc says, “The results will take about 10 days and mean time you need to go get a scope put down your throat and one put up from the opposite end. If the blood test comes back bad we are going to split your chest wide open and take a biopsy. So Mr. LeBaron have a great week and remember don’t worry about anything.” Who is this guy a stand up comic?

Now I’ve never been accused of being the sharpest pencil in the box, but I had some questions. With this scope thing why can’t you just start at the top and come out the “bottom.” Or why not swallow a camera in a pill type thing? And the chisel to the chest thing…if I have bad lymph nodes throughout my body then why not take a biopsy of one in one of my toes. Another thought was if you have to get one from my chest area then have you ever heard of a drill and 1/16 inch drill bit. That way when you get what you need you can just put a small cork back in and save the steel wire. Obviously these smart types need a commoner in their practice.

One nice thing they did do is to send a pretty doctor lady home to stay with me. I am now getting glasses of carrot juice by my bed instead of cool water. Also, she finds this all interesting and is attempting to show me color photographs of what my innards look like and is reading things to me out of books written in some foreign language. I just sip my carrot juice, smile, and nod my head.

I have been encouraged by all the stories of those that have beat this stuff. I still am amazed by the well wishers who share their stories like, “Yep Jessie had that stuff and they cut off his head to do the biopsy and accidently sewed it on backwards, but he is doing great now. They follow it up with, “It has its benefits ya know.” The other ones I don’t care for are the ones where they end with, “and he just didn’t make it” as they shake their head. So bottom line, only the happy ending ones please.

So how am I doing? I’m doing okay. I have been about 95 percent up and 5 percent down. It is so comforting to know that I made a choice long ago that I was going to live believing in Christ and I was going to die believing in Christ. I don’t know how this will all turn out, but I know that either way I will be just fine. Is it any easier to die at 80 then at 41? I don’t think so. The important thing is to know where you are going. Don’t get me wrong….I don’t plan to let this take me, I’m just saying I get much peace by knowing that everything is all right. Unfortunately we will all face death someday and it’s so much easier if we can go “through” that valley with the blessed hope of a life in heaven.

One more thing… I have heard that a few people were losing sleep over this thing. Well I have not except for the few times I have woke up worrying about if all cancer survivors have to wear pink.

Flying weather is supposed to be nice this week so I plan to fly as much as I can and eat ice cream every day until I get that next phone call. Well I still plan to eat ice cream after the call too.

Tim